Whenever someone close to you is going through a hard time, it’s not easy to know just the right thing to say. When you’re at a loss for words and your friend is sad, these phrases can help you figure out what not to say.
Sometimes people, even at LazyPaw Animal Hospitals, feel unsure of how to console someone when a pet is ill or passes away. Even when people mean well, they may unintentionally say something that only makes it worse. If you’re not sure whether a comment might be rude, consider swapping out the animal’s name for the person’s child, spouse, or best friend in the same situation. If you wouldn’t say something about another loved one, don’t say it about the pet.
Are you going to put him down?
This backhanded phrase should never be used about a friend’s animal in any circumstances. Your friend is probably worn out and emotionally weary from caring for their aging or ailing family member, and bringing up whether they are going to have to make a hard decision isn’t courteous.
Will you get another one?
No creature is replaceable, much less an animal who has become a part of the family. Your friend loves their pet, and asking if they will get another animal when theirs is ill or has recently passed away is extremely inconsiderate. That sort of comment makes their pain seem insignificant to you.
Well, at least you still have another dog/cat/animal.
Having another pet in no way lessens the loss of an animal. If someone lost a child, would their sibling lessen the pain of their absence? Each living thing is individual and important, and nothing could ever replace them.
It’s just a dog/cat/bird.
We should never trivialize another person’s pain. We can’t know exactly what someone else experiences or feels, and if your friend is upset about their pet’s illness or passing, that’s absolutely justifiable. Try to show support, not judgment.
It’s probably for the best. That dog was so much work!
Don’t attempt to rationalize another person’s loss. Claiming a tragedy has a greater purpose—“it’s for the best”—is always rough. Remember that even though caring for the pet may have been a lot of work, it was a labor of love.
Why are you still sad? It was just a dog!
Keeping a clock on someone’s grieving process is one of the worst things you can do. If you encountered a terrible loss, would you feel loved if someone said, “Why are you still sad about losing Bill? You were only married for ten years!”
Pets don’t live that long. You had to see this coming.
People who treasure relationships with animals realize every day with them is a gift. However long we get to enjoy our pets, they are a blessing, and knowing something won’t last forever can never fully prepare you for the absence of a wonderful presence in your life.
I remember when I lost Bojangles….
If you are an animal lover, try not to transition a consolation conversation to your own story of loss. It’s okay to identify and show compassion by saying, “When I lost Bucky, it was terrible. I’m so sorry about Fido.” It’s great to offer support, but don’t begin monopolizing the conversation with your own story.
